The New Superman Can’t Fly

I won’t even begin to rant about the royally screwed up changes that DC Comics have made with Superman. I’ll just plug in the article by Gail Shister over at the Philly Post:

The New Superman Can’t Fly

DC Comics’ revamp of the beloved superhero screws up the characteristics we love most about the Man of Steel

by Gail Shister

Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s—no, it can’t be—Superman. Not anymore. And I’m pissed.

At 73, DC Comics’ Man of Steel is undergoing an Extreme Makeover, action-hero edition. With comic-book sales plummeting, DC is updating its entire line of superstars, beginning with the biggest. The new Superman hits stores tomorrow, and diehard fans will barely recognize the cut Kryptonian in tights.

Set “a few years back,” according to DC Comics, this Superman/Clark Kent is the very definition of revisionist history.

He’ll be butcher, brusquer and beached. Yes, beached, at least in the beginning. (Fortunately, he can still leap tall buildings in a single bound.) Superman not fly? Are you serious? Unless the dude has changed his sexual identity, why bother with the flowing cape?

The new Superman/Clark Kent lives alone and has never married. That will be news to Lois Lane, who wed him in 1996. Worse, Lois is dating somebody else at the Daily Planet, where she has a new job title.

Unlike the old Superman, who would rather eat Kryptonite than get angry, the new version will have a temper. Moreover, he’ll sometimes do battle with the police (!!!) and elected officials of Metropolis.

Our new hero won’t look the same, either. His body is Super-sized. (Is Jimmy Olsen selling steroids now?) His four-pack is a six-pack, and his quads pop off the page. Even his face is more chiseled. And his product-laden hair has spikes.

Costume-wise, say goodbye to the red trunks Superman’s been wearing since Lou Gehrig played for the Yankees. Ditto for the red boots and form-fitting turquoise costume. His new outfit is a foreboding suit of armor, in dark blue and maroon.

You get the picture. Superman 2.0, high-tech and fearsome.

I liked the former Man of Steel. What made the old comic book—and ‘50s TV show and movies—so endearing was the very campiness that’s been deemed expendable.

The old Clark Kent changed into his Superman duds in a phone booth. Try finding a phone booth today. What will he do—undress in a cell phone?

The old Superman was a veritable Boy Scout, who respected authority and never broke the rules. Now he’s a badass with a mad fashion sense.

When George Reeves, who played Superman on TV in the ‘50s, killed himself with a speeding bullet in 1959, I said it was a lie. How could Superman die? It was impossible!

I was seven years old, and I believed.

I still do, and there’s the rub. So long, Superman.

Edit – I’ve since looked into the big “New 52” first issues that DC has published and the writer above is actually mixing up a few facts. It’s true that the Superman in the new #1 issue of Action Comics does not fly. He has also replaced the Superman suit with jeans and a short-sleeved t-shirt, with only the red cape remaining. However, the Superman in the new #1 issue of Superman actually does fly, and he has only a somewhat messed up outfit.

Overall, the DC reboot is more of a weak attempt from DC Comics to try to increase sales than anything else. Even if their printed issues aren’t the same as they were decades ago (thanks to the digital era), the reboot is still a pretty cheap and unoriginal move. Rather than repeatedly screwing with the characters and stories, they’d be better off with a paradigm shift in how they deliver the stories. Anything other than re-imaginings. Transfer their past stories to digital. They’re offering digital now, though overpriced. Or, create multiple series of animated shorts out of the old stories. Better yet, if they want to keep the prints going, they should just reprint the old stuff.

Similar to DC Comics, Marvel has also made their fair share of horrible decisions, screwing with their characters and stories. Both DC and Marvel are a hit with the live action movies, I’m sure there are other ways of keeping things interesting other than the extremely overdone reboot. If they can’t figure it out, then it’s time for their owners and writers to move on to something else.

Edit 2 – It looks like George Pérez – one of the main names associated with DC, specifically the Superman reboot – has actually moved on to something else, or at least has backed off with his degree of involvement.

Entry 110927.0930